Naked Man
It’s late Spring in Ft. Worth Texas 1988. My partner and I are working foot patrol in the downtown area. We had to drive downtown from the north precinct. We would pull into a parking space and walk the streets talking to people, letting them know their police department is at work. It was a good job for the most part but seeing as myself and my partner were both burned out, we needed a job like this. Talking to nice people. We got everyone in their offices safely and walked around a while longer. It was just before lunch time, and we were getting ready to get something to eat. We got back in the car and before we could call the dispatcher for lunch, she called us, “Paul three fourteen and Paul three eighteen copy call (designated as P-314 and P-318). A black male running around the courthouse area harassing people. He’s about five foot ten, a hundred and eighty pounds in his mid-twenties. He should be easy to spot, he’s naked.”
My partner got on the radio, “He’s completely naked?”
The dispatcher, who had a good sense of humor, said, “Not a stitch on. Not even shoes.” We could hear laughing in the background.
We looked at each other and my partner acknowledged the call. We proceeded to the area by the courthouse. We know places where the transients and wino’s hang out. After checking the wino’s, we then moved to the financial district by the courthouse. There was a large lunch crowd pouring out of the buildings. Most of the people were secretaries. This meant a lot of women on the street. We came around the corner and saw the subject of our call. He was buck naked and running by people. Every so often he would slow down by a woman and yell in her face, then take off. I turned to my partner, “If that’s not him we at least need to stop him and check it out.”
My partner rolled his eyes as I accelerated towards the guy. We are putting on a great lunchtime show for the downtown businesspeople. We closed in and my partner jumped out to pursue on foot. The guy was tired, and my partner caught up to him quickly. He put him against the wall and held him for a second. I came running up with a towel to back him up. There was no need to search him, we could tell he didn’t have any weapons. I wrapped the towel around him and heard a round of applause from the lunch group. We sat in the car for a second trying to decide what to do. My partner asked him, “You got some ID?”
The guy looked at us and yelled, “Man, I ain’t got no job, I ain’t got no money, and I ain’t got no clothes, I sure as hell ain’t got no ID. Shit.”
That made sense and I told him, “You don’t need to yell. We’re right here.”
He responded, “Sorry, I just got a big voice.”
My partner and I looked at each other and wondered what to do. It was a matter of jail, halfway house for clothes, or take him home.
We decided he needed some clothes. We took him to the halfway house, and they gave him a t-shirt, and a pair of old blue jeans. No underwear, no socks, and no shoes. The blue jeans almost fit but he had to hold them up. The shirt was oversized and unwashed, but he wasn’t naked anymore. We tried to figure out where he lived but he didn’t know. We decided to take him to jail for indecent exposure. The jail lieutenant processed him in. We figured our troubles are over for a while.
About thirty minutes later we get a call from the dispatcher, “Uh, Paul three eighteen your guy is back. Mr. naked is running around in the same area. When you get a chance can you come by dispatch?”
My partner acknowledged the call and the request. We came around the corner and there he was. We grabbed him again and put him in the backseat. This time no towel, to hell with that. We asked him how he got out. He had a big smile and said, “They just let me go. They got mad at me for taking off my clothes.”
I asked the guy, “Where are your clothes? We need them so you have something to wear.”
“They gave them back to me but I took them off right when I got out of jail. I don’t know where they are.”
By now my partner and I are perturbed. We go back to the halfway house and get more clothes that don’t fit. While trying to figure out what to do I tell my partner, “Let’s go back to the jail and see what’s going on.”
My partner agreed and we headed to the jail. My partner says he’ll get out and check things with the jail lieutenant. As he’s leaving, I tell him to stop by dispatch and see what they want. He acknowledges.
About thirty minutes later my partner returns. He’s looking at me like I just ran over his dog.
He gets in with a somber look, “Okay, I’m sorry but I got caught up with the lieutenant.” He slowly looked down at the floorboard, “And in dispatch.”
“Okay, what about the lieutenant. Can we take him down there?”
“No, he said don’t bring him back down there. Y’all find something else to do with him. That wasn’t the bad part though.”
Now I’m concerned, “What’s the bad part. Don’t tell me they want us to drive around with him all night.”
“No, the bad part comes from dispatch. Darla wants us to take a picture of our subject. She wants a naked picture, then a close up of his crotch area.”
I wasn’t shocked. Darla was known for having a crazy sense of humor, “So, did she give you a camera?”
“No, she said to get one from the crime scene office. Apparently, the women calling in were commenting about the size of his tool and the dispatchers want to see.”
I was becoming bored with this call, “We need to get rid of this guy now. How about we drive him to Arlington and let them deal with him. I bet their jail isn’t full.”
My partner jerked his head around in amazement, “That’s a great idea. We’ll just drive him to his home, In Arlington, and drop him off. It’s actually a public service.”
“Yeah, exactly. We’re taking care of a fine citizen.” I turned to him, “Hey Wallace where do you live?”
He looked around and smiled, “I don’t know. Somewhere that way.” As he pointed east. Which fit right into our plan.
We drove east out E. Lancaster into Arlington. We went into the city several miles and found a quiet neighborhood. We pulled up in front of a house and I said, “Hey Wallace, is this your house?”
He looked around and said, “I don’t know. It looks like it.”
My partner said, “This is where you told us to go.”
He said, “Yeah, okay.” He got out of the car and walked towards the house. As he did, we took off. We were done.
We went back to Ft. Worth and cleared the call. Everything was fine. About two hours later we got a hospital call at John Peter Smith, the county hospital. We had to watch a prisoner for a while. When the department sent a prisoner to the hospital Ft. Worth Police had to guard them. We took one-hour shifts. My partner and I arrived and found the prisoner. He was a burglar and we sat outside his room. Unfortunately, we were in the emergency room area. After sitting there talking for thirty minutes the emergency room doors opened and Arlington police entered with Arlington EMT’s. They had a black guy on a gurney strapped down with a sheet covering him. He was yelling, “It was those polices! They took me there!” It was the guy we dropped off in Arlington!
My partner and I looked at each other in disbelief. We put our head in our hands and looked at the floor. We did not want that guy recognizing us. They rolled him past us as he was yelling. They didn’t bother to stop and check anything out. They kept going. After they passed, we got up and walked to another area. We put an extra set of handcuffs on our burglar to make sure he didn’t leave. We meandered around a while until it was time to leave. We finally got the hell out of there. We could hear Wallace yelling from down the hall.
Everything turned out fine, from our point of view. Arlington never connected us with the crazy naked guy. Some are thinking we shouldn’t have taken him to Arlington. It’s just what happened in police work back then. It was a game. We later found out Arlington Police were doing the same thing. Crime is a dirty business, so you have to find some kind of activity to keep your sanity. Swapping crazy guys between cities was a part of doing business. Anyway, we never saw the naked guy again, mission accomplished.
